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If volition ever ran a restaurant...
12 months ago  ::  Jun 16, 2012 - 5:25AM #1
rhfjhguibhfr
Posts: 179
It would be like this:

Waiter: Hello and welcome to [Insert restaurant name here], what would you like to eat?

Customer: I would like spaghetti and meatballs, please.

Waiter: That comes with 7 meatballs, but 5 of the meatballs can't be eaten unless you pay an extra price per meatball and since you didn't reserve your table, you have to pay for an extra meatball.

Customer: Then what's the point of including those meatballs in the first place?

Waiter: So that it's more convenient for access.

Customer: Whatever, I'll just take it anyway.

Waiter: Ok.

[Some time later waiter returns with macaroni and meatballs]

Waiter: Here is your food.

Customer: This is macoroni, I wanted spaghetti.

Waiter: We wanted our meal to appeal to a larger audience, more people preferred macaroni to spaghetti.

Customer: Then why include it in the menu?

Waiter: Oh, this menu was from the early stages of planning.

[Customer notices bug in food]

Customer: Excuse me waiter, there's a bug in this food.

Waiter: What bug?

[Customer points at bug]

Customer: This one.

Waiter: oh that, that's a feature.

Customer: What kind of feature is this?!

Waiter: If you dislike the feature, we'll claim to fix it and secretly do nothing about it, now stop being so entitled.

Smart Customer: I guess I'm going to have to manually remove this bug.

[Customer Begins eating food]

Customer: This food tastes terrible!

Waiter: Since we hired a monkey as a chef and didn't give him any training, he doesn't understand how to cook the meal.

Customer: Then why not hire someone with experience?

Waiter: Stop being so entitled and eat your food.

[While customer eats his food]

[Waiter takes food away from customer while he is still eating]

Customer: What the hell, I wasn't finished with that!

Waiter: I'm sorry, the price you paid only covered 3/4 of the meal, you must pay an additional fee to finish it.

Customer: What kind of service is this?!

Waiter: Sorry, We can't do a thing about it, we're just that poor.

[Waiter hands customer a survey]

Waiter: Here, fill out this survey so we can briefly read it and then toss it in the paper shredder.

[Customer fills out survey anyway and gives negative reviews]

Waiter: Well, I see you're from the restaurant from across the street trying to make us look bad. Go kill yourself.

Customer: This service is terrible! Well I'll be back next week to see if anything gets better.

Waiter: See you then. [Waiter chuckles in an evil manner]
2.8 (2 Ratings)
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12 months ago  ::  Jun 16, 2012 - 6:42AM #2
drmabuse1981
Posts: 31

Hahaha!! This is just brilliant!!



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12 months ago  ::  Jun 16, 2012 - 6:59AM #3
StevilKnievel
Posts: 251

Lol, nailed it perfectly!

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12 months ago  ::  Jun 16, 2012 - 8:31AM #4
Jam0603
Posts: 2,198

Not gonna lie I feel like that now. 

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